A six gun lover, a candle in the wind...

So... It's 3.21am... just finished my dinner technically... cos i didnt eat anything before the pub. This can be your first installment of my friday morning blues post... That post-pub post that is often quite intreuging.

So to sum up the past few days... I've decided i want nothing more than freinds from kasie... I'll keep in contact because a new freind never goes astray.

Something that somebody said a while ago that has stuck in my mind as a good indication to help you figure out how you feel if you are lost, is think about the person you (may or may not) want to be with... What would you feel if you saw them with somebody else? In fact it is that very thought that perhaps got me into this predicament... when meagan saw me with kasie.

If kasie is with somebody else, i'll think: prick. Because she acted like she 'liked' me... But that's about it.... If meagan was with somebody else i'd probably cry. In fact i know i would. So there it is, life is easy once again...

I dont wanna be lonely no more, i dont wanna have to pay for this.... Or so i've said for a long time.

But i'm scared. I don't know if i'm ready for it. Because all of a sudden i've become popular it seems. I actually have girls liking me... girls i've liked but never done anything about have been showing interest... random chicks who think i'm funny drunk... and things like that....

Now i mean i'm not one for picking up randoms, i've mentioned it before.. But i mean randoms are idiots. But, i mean some of these people i know arent idiots... and it's upsetting to turn everyone down. I mean, I'm freaking pathetic.




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So in other news... i somehow managed to cut open my right foot with my left big toe nail... on the right hand side of my right foot... its its pretty swollen atm and it bled a fair bit... i have a tainted bandaid and sock now....

When i got home tonight... i decided to make pizza.

Once it was ready i decided i was an experienced pizza chef... and got cheese all over the kitchen.... and it wasnt on my pizza anymore... scooped most of it back up... but my kitchen is greasy and messy now.


going now because my foot is killing me...

No bravery in your eyes anymore.

Well, last night was possibly the most horrific thing i've ever seen up close and in person...

Saw a fatal car crash less than a minute after it happened... Never thought i'd be the kind who would get squeemish... but fuck man...

Seeing the blood all over the road leaking from the upside-down car's passenger side window... The driver screaming at crying punching the car. Only looked 19 or 20... The full implications of such an accident never really hit me until i saw it first hand... I mean you know all about what can happen but it doesnt really have the same effect, no matter how grusome they make the ads on tv or the giant billboards... No ad campaign can even come close to encapsulating that scene...
Also to make matters more disturbing... Kasie went to school with the guy and i had actually met him at the pub 20 minutes before-hand through kasie...

Ok. Enough said about that.
I beleive that'll be an image that I will never forget though.

Push...

I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well

This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good


I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
'cuz It's a little bit dirty well

Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged you,
And you don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all

I'm steady but i'm starting to shake...

All i ate yesterday was one meal when i went out with dad... and an ice-cream from macca's at some point... All i ate today was a lemon tart thing this morning... and then i just had fish an chips for dinner... I think i made myself sick cos i ate heaps cos i was so hungry by that point...

It's not that i've been intentionally not eating or anything, i love food too much. I'm just skint. flat broke. Couldnt afford a cheeseburger from maccas kinda broke. and I've not been home often enough to make something (and too lazy to cook)

Dancing Queen.....

I was of the drunken variety again last night. And the night before. But last night in particular although i don't feel hungover strangly... where i felt pretty seedy for most of yesterday. I don't think i'll ever understand that one. And last night I had shots and a pot skull-off.

So at 3.15-3.30 or so I was standing outside the place thats not vics when a 4WD pulled up right next to us and was playing "I don't feel like dancin'" and opened the door so everyone outside could hear it. So I did my drunken dancing... The embarrassing kind... You know what I'm talking about... And me and some other drunk guy were dancing in the street with nobody else dancing around us, and everybody else who was nearby looking at us strangely I'm sure. I think I was the more embarrassing one.

Anyways... as for my predicament... Who knows!

Drunk quiz

1. When was the last time you drank?
erm i had one on sunday... but was drunk on wed,thurs and almost drunk on fri..

2. Where did u drink at?
Home the one was... had a few at jds on friday

3. Have you ever been kicked out of a bar?
Yeh.. plenty of times

4. Have you ever had an interaction with police while under the influence?
Only once i think

5. How many drinks does it take you to get drunk?
Quite a few. 15 standards or so

6. What is the last alcoholic drink you had?
Little creature pale ale

7. Have you ever gone to school/work drunk?
Yep... got drunk at uni a few times... got tipsy off free samples once at work

8. Do you get hangovers?
Sometimes... Not all that often anymore though

9. When did you start drinking?
Shit... The pool players fed me booze when i was 13 or 14

10. Have you ever thrown up on someone because you were so drunk?
Poor scotty

11. What is the craziest thing you have ever done while drunk?
Driving in my underwear without my contacts in at 8am?

12. Favorite shot?
Sambuca

13. Do you wish you were drinking right now?
Nope... weird

14. Have you ever been so drunk that you don’t remember what happened?
Often

15. What is the worst shot?
Not sure if i can handle tequila again... after the incident... in fact the worst shot i've had is half vodka, half pirate rum...

16. Do you drink during the week?
Yeh

17. Has someone asked you to stop drinking?
Probably

18. What is your favorite drink?
alcoholic i assume going with the theme.... which would have to be, Jack and coke atm i think... depends on the mood

19. When was the last time you were drunk?
Thursday

20. Have you ever been in a fight when you were drinking?
I've provoked many but never actually had a propper fight.

21. Does your family drink?
Yep

22. What is your favorite drinking game?
TRUTH OR PEAR!!

23. If you could have only one alcoholic drink for the rest of your life what would it be?
beer... there are many kinda for many occasions.. and it goes well with most meals :)

24. Have you ever had a drink named after you?
Dont think so

25. What is your favorite day of the year for drinking?
My Bday

26. What is the earliest time that you've started drinking?
9am (unless i've had an odd one like the cruiser morning) but 9am is the earliest i've started drinking and drank through the night

27. What is the longest stretch of time that you've drank?
9am til 6am

28. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
To a degree... or rather i would have if i wasnt carried to a bed

29. Ever have to go to the hospital because of something alcohol related?
Nope

30. Are you an alcoholic?
Nope

31. What are your parent's drinks of choice?
Scotch

34. What's your favorite song to sing in the bar?
we are the champions... or more recently... donald wheres yer troosers

35. Do you have a favorite bar?
Flannies!

36. Have you ever woken up in a strange place after a night of drinking?
Hmm yes

37. What types of alcohol have a bad effect on you?
Sambuca the most... :D

38. What is your favorite hangover cure?
KFC chicken skin

39. What is your favorite drunk food?
As above

I don't wanna have to pay for this...

My life: the average daytime television series.

I don't know what to do. I know what most of you people think I should do, but that doesn't mean a whole lot to me. I've gotta figure it out myself. Why does everything always happen at once. I'm feeling a slight sense of deja vu actually.


I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
It's just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

I give in to the alcohol....

Man it's been a while since i've posted drunk at X.am

Well I've been at kelly's bar in cranny tonight. There was karaoke tonight. Turns out its actually quite a busy night there. It's fun.

I picked up :D Well as much as I do anyways. I kissed somebody. Somebody hot. :D well at least i think she is. And i thought she was last time i met her. Which was last time i went to kelly's. She was nice and she is cute and hot. i mean c'mon. I must have beer goggles or she was wasted or something... this doesnt happen to me :) Best night out in a long while. Oh well, I'm going to message her tomorrow and see if i can meet up with her sober tomorrow night (before the pub) gotta sort out my priorities eh? ;)

I haven't been to sleep at a reasonable time for a while so even though its 1.58am i'm wide fucking awake.

Fuck I might go make a steak or something.

I really hope she likes me in the morning.

These are the times

Last night was fun as!

I can't tell you much because nobody has told me what happened. Was good though.

Lots of young people there though... felt old. Met lots of random people though. Was almost going skateboarding today with people :S kinda weird since i've been saying lately that I wanna learn.

Rhiannon has a boyfreind apparently :P It was funny as, everybody made him so embarrassed. We ended up jd's because several people who came with were underage. Was also fun.

Maybe scott knows more details.

I wanna scream at the top of my lungs,,,

Good old fashion friday posts...

I was sober though. Dead sober.

Most folks just kinda stood around all night so being sober sucked then because when people are just drinking and doing nothing else, it sucks being sober. But later on when I found people to dance with I had heaps of fun.

There is this chick there (that I think I've mentioned a long time ago) who I see there quite often and every time she walks past I think she is cute and I wanted to talk to her but couldn't. Well at the start of the night I saw her talkin to dave and his freind michael so I went up to them talked to them and then said to her that she was dancing with us last week. And she kinda went shy and funny.

Hmm I'll find a link to an old post actually. Or quotes

june 30:
I have found another chick that I keep seeing out everywhere and can't help but stare at her sometimes. I'm strange aren't I? I see somebody that I think is hot, and stare at them for months and never talk to them or anything

Hmm well a brief scan over old posts hasn't found any more mention, though I'm sure there was. Oh well. Perhaps I've had nothing else to say other than that..


So where was I?

I got caught by Anna and forced to try to dance with her, but I was really struggling to dance sober at the time and also didn't want. Partially because I really wanted to be dancing with Meagan instead but also because I've decided nothing is gonna happen with Anna.
You see, on monday when I met her at a coffee shop, (cliche indeed) I was asking how she knew jd's people. And apparently everyone thinks she is going out with Rus (the younger Rus, the guy from last monday at strike who lost his phone for those who were there). Anyways, also for those who were there that chick who looked to be Rus' girlfreind was obviously Anna... But she maintained they are just freinds.

But when I saw Rus last night he told me he was there with his girlfreind. **BELLS AND WHISTLES**

So this was enough for me to avoid her, she is obviously playing him to at least some degree. So two reasons not to dance with her.

Man I'm good at going off on tangents. So anyways I got out of dancing with her because I don't do it sober. Then before I even got entirely into the other room Meagan ran in and grabbed me and was like come here your dancing with me. I was like wtf. Thats way outta the norm. But she was drinking last night and never does. So even the shit-all that she drank went to her head. So maybe it was just the booze.

But no it doesnt end there. I went in with her because well I really wanted to. But I felt bad after what I said to Anna, especially since she was right next to her and then tried to move in and dance with me when I was there with meagan
so I explained to Meagan and disapeared

But wait! There's More!


As soon as I got back into the back room again, I saw the chick mentioned above who I liked but never spoke to until last night. And she was trying to get me to dance with her. I mean... WTF. I so wanted to but I mean that was gonna end violently me thinks. So I promised her I'd dance with her next week but she said she won't be there... So just next time then... She left just after that anyways. But Dave's freind michael got a message from her saying something along the lines of 'ask steve (black shirt), no dance? :( ' For clarity, I indeed was wearing a black shirt.

I felt so special. People wanted to dance with me.

Just to top it off, her name is Rachel (or Rachael)... lol

Same as the last person I liked from a distance for a while before ever talking to her :P

Wow, turned out to be quite a long post. This calls for lunch.

The floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling...

It's not so much that I was so entirely bored, (although I'm getting there) it was more like I was spaced out. Sitting here wondering why nobody is online (and not away) I realised that I can hum at the resonant frequency of one of my teeth. Quite peculiar really.

So it's like this; I was making weird noises like I often do when I'm spaced out, why isn't entirely important. However one of my teeth felt funny just when I was making a particular humming note. And that a seperate noise was coming from my tooth. It was cool.


Well now that I've stopped to type this is seems I can't do it again. So it was one of those miracles that are to only be witnessed once.

Until next time. Keep being weird.